Being with a loved one who is experiencing hallucinations is a disconcerting experience and can actually feel very frightening. In this blog, we will address “simple” hallucinations. In part 2, we’ll talk about the more complex situation of delusions with or without hallucinations.
Fear is often our first reaction when our loved one with LBD sees things that aren’t there, because it makes us feel disoriented and out of control. But it is often nothing to be frightened about. So, with the initial realization that your loved one is seeing something that is not there… Take A Breath. This may feel like a crisis. It actually is not a crisis. Take a few seconds to ground yourself, physically and emotionally. Literally…feel your feet on the floor. Take a few breaths, exhaling s-l-o-w-l-y.
Now, once you’ve done that, assess the situation. This is not the time to set a person straight and try to strong-arm them back into reality. Doing so will most likely upset them and escalate the situation, which might indeed become a crisis. In many circumstances, it can be helpful to simply be curious about what they see. They may find it confusing, and need to talk about what they are experiencing.
Early in the disease, the person with LBD may ask you if you see what they see. If they are aware of their diagnosis and are able to talk about it, you can explain that it is part of their illness. Be reassuring and speak quietly and calming. The amazing thing about LBD is how a person’s understanding can shift moment to moment and they need to be able to talk about what they are experiencing. (For people in this stage of the illness, our LBD Crew support group can be helpful.)
I learned a simple intervention from one of my husband’s caregivers. When my husband asked her “who are all these people in the room behind you?” she replied, “I don’t know because sometimes you’re able to see things that I can’t, but whatever they are doing here, you’re safe and I’m with you as well.” This allows for the reality that you can’t see what they see, but also doesn’t judge or correct the person’s perceptions. Saying, “you’re able” to do something is even somewhat empowering. People with LBD have lost so much. Being told they are able to do something we can’t is just plain nice. I realized this when I was able to use this response with my husband. When he asked me about something he was seeing, I asked him, with a smile on my face, “I’m not sure what you’re seeing. Are you maybe using your super-powers to see things that I can’t?” He got a satisfied almost proud smile on his face and nodded knowingly, “I think I am.” It all remained playful and soon that hallucination became irrelevant. Often, when the hallucination is not starting off as frightening, taking a calm, gentle approach can work to dispel the situation. It respects the person’s subjective reality, which is more likely to keep them calm. And often the person will become distracted and move on. At other times it’s not a bad thing to just let it ride itself out. My husband once informed me, “I’ve been having such a fun time recently, playing with the little children.” I realized that in fact, he had been hallucinating little children lately and frankly I was glad he was enjoying it!
A common trigger of hallucinations can be an object across the room. Lewy body dementia affects the visual cortex of the brain causing the person’s brain to misinterpret the incoming information. A sweater, draped over the back of a chair can look like a person with long hair staring at them. So it may be as simple as just rearranging things calmly. This works particularly well when the person is able to understand that they have a disease that can distort things they see.
However, this may not be enough to reassure the person and keep the situation calm. You may at times need to intervene. Ask if there is something they would like you to do. For example, if they are seeing little animals running around. Again be calmly curious. “Should I herd them out of the room?” “Shall we go into another room? They’ll go away if we do that.” Be inventive. Think about how you would handle it with a small child playing pretend. You’re goal is not to set them straight about reality, but to keep the person calm and unafraid. To be reassuring that they are safe.
Finally, we must mention a much less common, but still not uncommon situation. That is a negative hallucination. This occurs when a person is looking directly at an object but just cannot see it. For example, not being able to “see” the TV remote, despite it sitting on a table, right in front of the person. This phenomena has lead to some families having frustrating experiences of taking their loved one to an eye doctor thinking there is something wrong with the eyes only to be told that the person’s vision is fine. In fact, this is another manifestation of the disruption of the visual center of the brain. This situation can often be very frustrating to the caregiver. The best approach is to calmly hand them the object. As soon as you guide their hand to the object, they seem to be able to see it.
These are just a few of the ways to handle the more “simple” hallucinations. If readers of this blog have had success with other strategies, please share them in the comments section. And as always, remember the Lewy Body Dementia Resource Center is here for you through our Helpline, as well as our local and national support groups for both caregivers and people living with LBD.
Nina Morway says
My husband once told me there were three men in our guest room. I told him to stay in the bathroom while I asked the
men to leave. I opened the door to the guest room and loudly told the “men” to get out of our house and never come back. Slammed the front door, and told him “they” left and he was safe.. He said, “Never knew you could be so loud!”
I always get in his world. It is real to him.
Norma Loeb says
Hi Nina,
Thank you for sharing that experience with us. In addition to letting others know how helpful it is to “get in his world,” it also put a smile on our faces.
Mags Clarke says
Hello.
We have been through all of the above mentioned hallucinations. We had to remove all flowers, plants and a lot of ornaments. Hubby still “ saw” people in the sofa, chairs key cabinet and “the children” in the bedroom. At the moment he is having conversations with someone we can’t see but doesn’t seem to be hallucinating. He now never makes eye contact.
Horrible horrible illness.
Norma Loeb says
Hi Mags,
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. We know how difficult it is. Know that we are here on our Helpline everyday at 516-218-2026.
Vera Salter says
Thank you for this blog. The approaches you describe have all worked for me. Its so important for me to acknowledge my husband’s reality and reassure him that he is safe. I have also told him he has the power to see things I cant see.
Norma Loeb says
Thank you for letting us know, Vera.
Makiko Giraldo says
My husband recently started believing he can create things what he wants or fix anything with his hands just holding in front of him.
We usually just say thank you for the nice dress, shoes, for fixing my car that is driving far better than before. etc. But today he was upset that I am going to the shop and replace the tires which he had already fixed himself. I really need to be creative enough to respond so he doesn’t get upset. That is a lot of work for us.
Norma Loeb says
Hi Makiko,
Thank you for sharing this most recent experience. It certainly isn’t easy being creative and can be tiring. But it sounds like you are saying exactly what needs to be said in the best way.
Sandra says
Perhaps you just stopped in at the shop to show them what great tires your husband got for you!
Sandra says
I rarely tried to “fix” my husband’s hallucinations or suggest that I could make them go away. I was concerned that he would still see them and then feel he couldn’t trust me when I told him I would do something really important. Instead, I put myself into his story. We live in NE Tennessee, which is the Storytelling capital of the world, and it was one of the things that drew us to the area. So using storytelling to deal with a number of aspects of his LBD was helpful.
Most of his hallucinations were benign or even pleasant. Many were even a sort of perk, as mentioned, that only he got to really experience. One was not, however.
One morning he got up and was just angry with me – quite unusual for my sweetie. He got angrier and blatantly disgusted as the day went on. “I don’t know how you can live with yourself,” he said. Finally, after hours of trying to get him to tell me what he thought I was doing, it came out that he was having an extreme hallucination. The whole house was filled with very small people – every inch of the floor was covered with them – and I was stomping through, stepping on, kicking, squashing, and killing them as I simply went about my day. It was horrifying to imagine what he was seeing. It made me cry.
I told him that I was so sorry to have hurt his friends, but that I couldn’t see them, and had no way of knowing they were there. I asked him if he could communicate with them, and if so, to tell them they needed to get out of my way, because I could not see them.
Then he started crying, because he felt so bad that he had gotten angry with me! He said he wanted to lay down, and would try to tell the little people to stay out of my way. When he woke up, they were gone. It still breaks my heart to think how horrible that must have been for him.