CAREGIVER SUPPORT by Susan Visconti, <br>Director of Community Outreach of LBD-NY

This is such a vast topic. . .knowing and understanding your limitations is often hard to determine. . .we all want to be able to move mountains for our loved ones and want to make sure they have the best care in the world. . .even though you will be the only one to move those mountains to achieve it!

Maybe asking oneself questions and answering realistically will help:
What time outside of my own family obligations can I devote to caregiving?? Do you have young school age children, teens who need supervision, or grown self-sufficient college students at home? How about your work commitments? Full or part-time work? Commuting to work — and how far away are you from your family member who you care for?? How supportive is your spouse with your caregiving commitments?? Are there other family members who can take a rotation when you are not available or who can each take on a specific responsibility so that you have a Family Community sharing in the care that will be almost interchangeable as needs arise??

Will you be able to attend local support groups to address burnout?? Will you still stick to your exercise/recreation/hobbies/outlets/social activities as you do all of the things that you need to do to take care of your own house/family as well as take your mom, dad or spouse to the doctor, supervise HHAs, be present when a nurse comes to do assessments, be available to buy supplies/groceries/cook homemade meals that they are familiar with and used to?? Oversee, the financial responsibilities of their lives??

So many more questions/responsibilities involves that you will need to figure out how your time, location and finances, as well as the emotional/physical impact, all this will work to make the whole caregiving experience doable!

There are many books and articles online, blogs, general support groups all over the planet to access–but who has the presence of mind or the timeframe to squeeze in yet another task!? In my own personal experience it was only after my Mom had passed and I was in the middle of caring for my now-sick Dad and Aunt/Godmother that I sought out a Caregiver Coach who I scheduled a conference call with once a month to go over what was going on and how I was managing and what advice the Coach was able to impart to me. . .and that was 12 years after I started my life as primary caregiver for both my parents and my Aunt! While it is important to keep perspective on an on-going basis it is not easy to do so. . .

Everyone really needs to be mindful of what their own personal needs are and to really work into the responsibilities restorative acts of kindness for one’s own well-being and comfort while tending to all they have going on. . .easier said than done. Try to enlist one or two close members of your circle to check in with you as to how you are managing and to get together with them for R&R, try to read an interactive blog for ideas and stress-busting encouragement. Know you are doing the best you can!